Wednesday, March 9, 2011

More Than They Can Do

"All women have more than they can do because they take on more than they have strength for. A woman did not (in the old days) paint her kitchen, wash the car, drive the children to school, weed the lawn, pay the bills, worry about budgeting and insurance. Her husband did these things or hired someone."

From "Dear Fellow Housewives," Heloise's Houskeeping Hints by Heloise, 1962

Image from We Help Daddy, illustrated by Eloise Wilkin, 1962
via Cassandra Considers blog

Empress of Escapades

"1949: The famous children's author Enid Blyton
with her two daughters Gillian, left, and Imogen
at their home in Beaconsfield, Buckinghamshire.
Photo: Getty Images"

Monday, February 28, 2011

Lose the Future

Paul Krugman at The New York Times says American children will be hit the hardest by spending cuts:
[W]hen advocates of lower spending get a chance to put their ideas into practice, the burden always seems to fall disproportionately on those very children they claim to hold so dear.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Bowled Over

At first, Imogen didn't think she wanted to bowl
because the shoes aren't beautiful.
When I saw these, I thought
oh no!
But they turned out to be a big hit, and...
really fast!

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Go Canada

The Economist Intelligence Unit has released its 2011 Liveability Ranking and Overview, also known as the world’s 10 most liveable cities. Three Canadian cities made the list, including Vancouver at #1. No U.S. cities made the top 10.

-Information from The Huffington Post

Worthy of Belonging

“When you hold those perfect little babies in your hand, our job is not to say, ‘Look at her, she’s perfect.  My job is just to keep her perfect, make sure she makes the tennis team by 5th grade and Yale by 7th grade.’ That’s not our job. Our job is to look and say, ‘You know what?  You’re imperfect and you’re wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.’  That’s our job.”

Monday, February 21, 2011

In Your Life

Bill Clinton to Nevada voters, October 12, 2010:

"I am old enough to tell you, if you forget about politics, any time in your life you make an important decision when you're mad, there's an 80 percent chance you're going to make a mistake. I don't want people to abandon their anger. I want them to channel it so they can think clearly."

Three-Story Building

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Unique Treasures

You Caused Me to Look

Ponytails; she's been growing her hair out for months.

Imogen took this picture of her shoes.
It's one of her first photographs.

Friday, February 18, 2011

The Other Half

In Washington state in 2009, there were 354,956 families with 521,853 young children. Forty percent of them—or 208,304 Washington children—live in low-income families, which is below the national average of 46%. In other words, almost half of the young children in the United States live in low-income families.

-Based on statistics from the National Center for Children in Poverty

Contemporary Poverty

"Inconveniently, though, the poor and near poor, whom we don’t care about, come attached to children, for whom we supposedly have some concern. So how are the kids doing?

Some facts from the National Center for Children in Poverty: one in five families is food-insecure, i.e., they don’t have enough food for everyone in the family at least some of the time. Health? Poor children are far more at risk than better-off kids: from secondhand smoke (32 percent vs. 12 percent of nonpoor children), low or moderate levels of lead in their blood (30 percent vs. 15 percent), lack of health insurance (16 percent vs. 8 percent) and lack of dental care (18 percent of poor kids hadn’t seen a dentist in the past year vs. 11 percent of nonpoor children, which is bad enough). Poor children are more likely to have asthma (18 percent vs. 13 percent). They are more likely to have missed five or more days of school for health-related reasons (20 percent vs. 15 percent). Twice as many poor parents report that their child has 'definite or severe' emotional, behavioral or social problems (10 percent vs. 5 percent). Poor kids are also more likely to be obese, to get insufficient exercise, to be diagnosed with ADHD or other learning disabilities and to have mothers who are in poor health themselves. No wonder they are less likely to be described by their parents as being in very good or excellent health (71 percent vs. 87 percent).

Poor children’s home lives are more precarious. Almost one in five children in poor or low-income families had moved in the last year, which means disrupted schooling and stress. In 2007, 1.7 million kids had a parent in prison, including one in fifteen black children. In 2008, around 460,000 children spent time in foster care. In 2009, 2.2 million were being raised by grandparents or other relatives.

Poor kids are more likely to be raised by single mothers and to have parents who didn’t finish high school or go to college. Even just living with other poor people seems to harm kids. Those who live in disadvantaged neighborhoods have lower reading scores; so do low-income kids who go to schools where the student body is 75 percent or more minority. Most black and Latino kids attend such schools. By the age of 2, poorer children have fallen cognitively behind those from wealthier families.

We’re looking at millions of kids, disproportionately black and Latino, who face a wide range of serious difficulties: how can that not affect their ability to do well in school? Moreover, the number of poor and near poor children is growing. In 2009 more than 1.2 million children entered poverty, even as school budgets are being cut all over the country: classes are getting bigger, teachers are being laid off, extracurriculars are being cut. You can see why the schools say they can’t do it all.

The parenting wars look like they are about children, but really they are only about each parent’s own child. That’s why they serve such a useful social function. Without them we might have to think about the frightening place America is becoming for ever more millions of kids. Who knows? We might even feel that we should do something about it."

From "It Takes a Village, Not a Tiger" by Katha Pollitt on TheNation.com (emphasis added) via Jezebel

Thursday, February 17, 2011

So Seattle


From "Are you parenting according to your ZIP code?" by Wendy Fawthrop in The Orange County Register:

"I don’t usually look to Vogue magazine for parenting advice.

But in the January issue, I was stopped by an excerpt from a new book, 'Poser,' by a mother who turned to yoga to quiet her neurotic mothering tendencies. It wasn’t the yoga that prompts me to write this (maybe another time) as much as author Claire Dederer’s mention that the neuroses she was suffering from were particular to her Seattle lifestyle:

'We, the mothers of North Seattle, were consumed with trying to do everything right. Breast-feeding was simply the first item in a long, abstruse to-do list: Cook organic baby food, buy expensive wooden toys, create an enriching home environment, sleep with your child in your bed, ensure that your house was toxin free, use cloth diapers, carry your child in a sling, dress your child in organic fibers … .' And so on. She describes one friend who nurses her toddler son on demand and follows him around the house offering him organic snacks. 'These behaviors were the very essence of Seattle parenting,' she writes. 'Ruthie was, by the lights of our community, an excellent mother. And she was happy.'

I’m not going to get into the merits of any of these practices. What hit me was the packaging of them into a recognizable culture particular to a certain city. It got me thinking – as someone who has lived up and down the coast – about the variations in such 'mom cultures' from city to city."

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Daughters are Everything

"Fame is rot. Daughters are everything."
Mr. Dearth in Dear Brutus, a play by J. M. Barrie

A Busy Mother

A busy mother makes slothful daughters.
Portuguese Proverb

Friday, February 11, 2011

The Burn and Learn

"I call it the ‘burn and learn.’
You burn and then you learn from it."
Kelly Cutrone, Fashion Publicist, Ava's Mom

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

High Fat, Low IQ

"A study of 14,000 children found three-year-olds who eat lots of fat, sugar, and processed foods have lower IQs when they're eight. But if chicken nuggets and SpaghettiOs are staples of the American toddler's diet, that means ... damn."

Margaret Hartmann, Jezebel.com

Friday, February 4, 2011

Overlapping Trends

"Over the past 35 years, the percentage of U.S. mothers who hold down a job while raising kids has soared, from less than 50 percent to more than 70 percent. The childhood obesity rate -- which is now close to 17 percent -- has more than tripled during the same time frame.

These overlapping trends may not be a coincidence. The longer a mother is employed, the more likely her children are to be overweight or obese, a new study of grade-schoolers published in the journal Child Development suggests.
____
Mothers who have jobs don't directly cause weight problems in their children, but busy families may accelerate weight gain by relying too much on fast food and frozen dinners rather than preparing fresh, healthy meals, the researchers say.

'It's not the mother's employment, but the environment,' says the lead author of the study..."

-From Health.com via The Huffington Post (full article details the limitations of the study)

For Mothers and Maidens

Mother-Daughter Yoga=Good Idea

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

The Coolest Bath

"This is the coolest bath a woman ever had."
-Imogen, after loading play-kitchen toys into her bath

Imogen: Pretty and Classy

Nameberry.com, in its article "12 best names inspired by creative types," writes:
Imogen Cunningham
A Shakespearean name long fashionable in England, Imogen kind of lost its way here when spelled and pronounced im-oh-GENE. Said properly, Imogen is as pretty and classy as it is distinctive, and is rapidly becoming a Nameberry fave.
-via The Kansas City Star

Friday, January 28, 2011

The Evolution of Pink



In our Daddy Issues series, a father of a young daughter seeks guidance, hoping to raise a strong woman. He looks to you, dear readers, for insight.

After last week's post about pretty pink princesses, I waged a minor war on the color pink.

And by war, I mean skirmish. OK, fine, maybe...tactical maneuver

So I was walking home from school with my 4-year-old daughter, and we were talking about an upcoming snow vacation and the need to find the proper clothes.

‘Pink,’ she told me, ‘I need a snowsuit that's pink.’

‘What if they only have blue?’ I asked, ‘Or yellow?’

She frowned.

‘We'll let's at least try for pink,’ she said.

Usually I buy whatever happens to be on sale…To be honest, I had wondered if this sort of frugality might rub off, if the idea might somehow break through that appearance wasn't as important as function or price…

…Hearing my daughter go on and on about pink mittens and pink snow boots, I decided to push back a tiny bit. Now, I know plenty of girls who went through a ‘pink phase’ and came out of it loving green. I wasn't concerned this was a life-altering issue (although I did read ‘Cinderella Ate My Daughter’ the day it came out this week and was appalled, aghast and mildly amused by the evolution of pink and what it might portend). I was curious how deep pink had gotten its hooks into her.

‘Suppose,’ I said, ‘There were only two choices of snow boots. Only two. And you only got to pick one.’

She nodded and waited for more, while I explained that while one pair was pink, the boots fit so poorly that it hurt her feet to the point she couldn't wear them for more than two seconds. The other pair, I told her, was blue — and they fit perfectly and made it feel like walking on clouds.

‘So which one do you want? The pink hurty one or the blue comfortable one?’

She didn't even think it over.

‘Pink,’ she said.

Those are some big, pink hooks.”

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

The Happiness Survey

Take the Happiness Survey, a project of the Seattle Area Happiness Initiative and Sustainable Seattle, with Take Back Your Time and the Compassionate Action Network.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Mother's Arms

"Australia, January 25: Baby Kipenzi, who was born on January 15, sits in her mother Kriba's arms at the Taronga Zoo in Sydney. Western Lowland Gorillas are on the critically endangered list. Image via Getty." -Jezebel.com

Friday, January 21, 2011

The Gas Station

"Mom took me to Boston when I was starting my residency. She was quite sick at that time, but she was bent on taking me to Boston to shepherd me through finding a place to live. It was our last trip together as mom and daughter, and we slept in the same room in this bed-and-breakfast. After we got in bed she said to me, 'I want you to know a few things.' And it was very clear that she wanted to give me advice before she died.

So when we were in bed, she said to me, 'When you have children, always remember that a parent should be like a gas station. The children can come to you and then go out into the world and do their things and then come back for more. But be careful that the gas station stays in one place. Don't run after your children. Just stay there in the gas station to give them support.' That's something that I've always governed myself by. Whenever I see myself running after one of the kids or trying to control what they're doing, I always try to stop myself and say, 'I'm just the gas station.'"

Leah Haseley, From "Mom: A Celebration of Mothers From StoryCorps" by Dave Isay

Truth Passes

All truth passes through three stages.
First, it is ridiculed.
Second, it is violently opposed.
Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.

German philosopher (1788-1860)

Thursday, January 20, 2011

The Love

"Mama, do you know what my favorite part of your whole body is?"
"What?"
"The love."
-Imogen, 4½

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Friday, January 14, 2011

The New Face of 40

Gwen Stefani is the new face of L'Oreal Paris at 41. I love it!

Friday, January 7, 2011

Cymbeline

See "brave Princess Imogen" in action. The Seattle Shakespeare Company is staging a chamber production of Cymbeline through January.

"One of Shakespeare’s last plays, Cymbeline is a fairytale come to life. A banished princess, a wicked stepmother, a faithful servant, and long-lost brothers all dwell in this storybook adventure. After brave Princess Imogen is falsely accused of adultery and exiled from her father’s court, she sets forth on a treacherous and miraculous journey to reclaim her place in society and reunite with her true love." -Seattle Shakespeare Company
Photo: Erik Stuhaug | The Seattle Times

Thursday, January 6, 2011

These Dear Little People

Read David Horsey's excellent essay on parenting,
"Good families are what's right with the world."

Imaginative Play

"SARAH WILSON was speaking proudly the other day when she declared: 'My house is a little messy.'

Ms. Wilson lives in Stroudsburg, Pa., a small town in the Poconos. Many days, her home is strewn with dress-up clothes, art supplies and other artifacts from playtime with her two small children, Benjamin, 6, and Laura, 3. 'I let them get it messy because that’s what it’s here for,' she said.

Ms. Wilson has embraced a growing movement to restore the sometimes-untidy business of play to the lives of children." 

Hilary Stout, "Effort to Restore Children's Play Gains Momentum," The New York Times
MomsRising.org